City moment

I had a very city day today... I grabbed lunch from the local sandwich and pizza shop and ate it sitting on the stairs at the train station then hopped a train to center city. I had to hurry thru the rain with a newspaper over my head to school. Then on the way home, the train station was filled with music from this performer who was doing a "one man band" sort if thing and he was fantastic...he played a great version of the chrorale and shaker dance and there was a little boy from the audience with him who was rattling away this tambourine, and the people gathered around them were clapping around. The rest of us, who were pretending not to be watching, were all listening and smiling from the benches... it was just so cool. I really love being in a big city sometimes :)

In other news, it looks like Megan did NOT ovulate before because it appears that she is now, so we're going to do another insem this weekend. OPK is much darker :)

That's all for now. Tomorrow we're going to meet online friends at the outlets in NJ. Yay for online friends!

Round and round we go

Our return to the world of reproductive endocrinology is scheduled for Tuesday, November 13 at 3:30 p.m. Slight chance we could be preggo by then, if the timing was right or Megan ovulates soon....ha, yeah, right.

Back to work. News for me today...all this being on my feet all day is causing my legs to swell and my veins to dilate and look all gros...looks like it's time for compression stockings. Whoopee. What are the damn things going to look like when I'm 60???

Shameless plug and TTC frustration

This past Saturday we went to a performance by Jana Losey, a singer songwriter who happens to be the cousin of one of my very close friends. We went more to see our friends than anything, but WOW this girl is good!! She's just getting started, but her voice is beautiful and her songs are clever and fun to listen to, so I want to very enthusiastically plug her here! Check out her myspace at http://www.myspace.com/janalosey and catch a show if she does one near you! There are samples of her music on myspace and her first album is on iTunes...

So that's enough chipperness. We don't think Megan ovulated, so we're back to her POAS and we did an insem likely for nothing....sad. But this is pretty par for the course for us, so we're just going to hang tight, make an appointment for the RE next month, and keep on with the natural cycles for now. Hey, maybe we'll break our long cycle record. GAGS.

I'm back in York for the week and I'm seeing a CABG today (bypass, open heart surgery...should be SO cool), so I need to go take a little nap and read up before the case. I'm really excited! I miss my girl though. This living away from home thing sucks like no other.

Time to go! Ish...

So, Megan feels like she's going to ovulate, she has EWCM, but the OPK isn't totally cooperating and is lighter today than yesterday. Huh. Oh well, we're going with the whole CM/CP readings as being more accurate than the 50 cent OPK and are going with it. Plan is to insem tonight and tomorrow, and then we'll see where we're at after that!

I cured cancer!

well, rather, I held retractors and cut sutures (new skill for me today!) while the breast and plastic surgeons cured cancer. I helped do a bilateral total mastectomy and reconstruction today, which took a whopping 5 hours, two surgeons, two residents, one relatively worthless medical student, two scrub nurses, two circulators, an anesthesiologist, and a CRNA. Phew! It was totally awesome that both of the surgons were women :) Anyway, the surgery went really well and the cosmetic effect was really good. Since this patient had a lot of skin left over, they were able to fill the saline implants a bit today (often they have to wait for the stitches to heal), which will be really good for this particular patient (she's only 40 and very depressed, and had a hard time deciding if she wanted to do both mastectomies or just the one side with the cancer. Anyway, there were no metastases to the nodes, so it was a total success and felt fantastic.

My only major foibles were nearly passing out after the first hour. I ate a balanced breakfast, hadn't had any caffeine, and was moving my legs, but it got really hot inside the gown (picture one Karisa with scrubs, shoe covers up to mid-calf, a mask, a really big eye shield, big poofy hair cover, calf-length plastic surgical gown, and two pairs of latex gloves!) and I had to say I was feeling faint...so I backed up and had to have someone sit me down, scrub me out (ie take off everything but scrubs, shoe covers, mask, and head cover), and put alcohol pads on my neck (for cooling), then go get some juice and rest for a few minutes. It happens a lot, but this was my first one. anyway, the surgeons let me scrub back in and I finished the whole thing out without incident, and got to help :) :)

I was DEAD after that long, so I grabbed some lunch and took a nap...

Anyway, time for me to head back. My 3 pm lecture was cancelled but the 4 pm one is still on, so must pelt down a beverage before scrambling back to the classroom to learn about...something. I don't remember... Never a dull moment!

Damn you, Suri!

Without running the risk of sounding completely idiotic, photos of Suri Cruise make me so sad...I'm quite certain that any baby Megan produces will bear a strong resemblance to this most famous toddler...see what I mean?


So, world, please stop posting photos of this child until Megan is pregnant. Please.

Bo-Zoe

I couldn't resist...she got a bath last week (Zoe) and she's sooo cute (well, both of them...) :D

Weekends off rock my socks off

I know, a totally dumb expression, but I sooooo mean it! This weekend off was amazing. I got to sleep in three times, got to see my girl AND my friends, including a rousing game of Munchkin (I'll trade you my cute shoulder dragon for your chain mail bikini!) and some fun outlet shopping. Not to mention there was a donut in there as well, AND ice cream (though not on the same day). I'm ready to tackle my first full week of surgery with bells on.

Megan's still not surging yet, so I hope it holds off a couple of days so I can be at home for the insems, so hope for us! Perfect insem day would be Thursday, so let's hope that the OPK stays negative until Wednesday at least :D

Off to study...topic of the evening: fluids, electrolytes, and nutrition.

This place totally sucks

They had no idea I was coming today, so after getting up at 6 to show up for OR orientation, I find out that they can't do it until Monday, and all I can do today is finish my other orientations, tomorrow I come in and watch cases in the OR (so shadowing, like I did in HS and college), and then come back Monday for my scrub orientation so I can actually hold retractors or whatever I'm supposed to do.

Anyway, this is utterly a waste of time. How could communication be THAT bad? And I could have spent more time with Megan if they didn't want me to REALLY start until Monday. Crap crap crap.

Have I mentioned that I miss Megan. I miss Megan. A lot. Sniffle.

Off to waste another hour before my second orientation.....

Pathetic or in love? Is there a difference, really?

Megan left half an hour ago and I already miss her like CRAZY. Let me spell this out for you. We got together two or three days after we met. We moved in together informally after a month or two, officially after three months. Since then, we have been apart for approximately 18 weeks. 6 weeks while Megan studied in Paris, 6 weeks while I studied in Granada, Spain, 2 weeks at Christmas in 2001 and 2002...and that's it, except for a day or two here or there. And this week is our 6 Year Anniversary. So over the past 6 years, there have only been a handfull of days that we've had to be apart. It's not really that we're clingy so much, it's that we really love one another's company, we're the closest of friends, and being away from her just makes me feel empty. At least we'll both be busy most of the time and I'll get to come home on weekends. That will be the saving grace of this place. That I get to spend every weekend with my girl, in my house, with my dogs, in my neighborhood with my streetlights and my street noise. And my Philly smog, gosh darn it!!!!

It really doesn't help that Megan's having a really hard time at work right now. Her boss is making her life HELL and she thinks now that it may be a homophobia thing. Interesting if she can prove it, since it's against their policy to discriminate. Hm.

So I should probably try to read something and get some rest. It's odd that I'm here I guess. And I'm counting the hours until I get to snuggle up with my girl in our cozy bed, crowded with three huge dogs and two annoying cats. ::sigh::

Day off?

What on earth am I supposed to do with a day off? I've already cleaned the kitchen and worked on the (stupid fucking) cat piss stain in the carpet for the 47th time...and watched TV...and it's only 10:30. What do I doooo?

So, plan. I leave Tuesday for York and come back every Thursday evening (late). Megan is slated to ovulate midweek, so we're hoping her cycle skews a couple days later than normal so we can do the inseminations while I'm at home. Hope it works out :)

After this, we're going to do another natural cycle in November, maybe one in December depending on the timing, then possibly shoot for injectables in January. So I suppose that would mean a November-December get together with the RE and re-scheduling of the HSG that got unceremoniously canceled this past spring. Hopefully things will work out before then, but we're not really counting on it.

Time to go find something to do. The vacuum may be calling my name ;)

Over and out

Emphasis on the out, AF here in full force today. Take 11.

10-11 dpo-ish

Just a quick note tonight to say that we're not feeling overwhelmingly optimistic today. Megan's "symptoms" are a bit less today, and although we know they mean nothing, it's still disppointing. Also, she's been having a bad time at work, so that's frustrating.

I'm also REALLY busy with school...big SHELF exam this week, which will suck. Also a really, really nasty paper is due.

Finally, on a good note, I wanted to share a prototype photo of the baby bedding my mom is making for us. We might want to switch up a color or two, but here it is! Hate it if you want, but we love how vibrant it is :)

Nothing to say

You know, TTC blogs are totally not interesting when you're not obsessing. I've got nothing to report, other than 8 days until we know...eh, it will pass. I'm DREADING my SHELF exam, which will be the same day, so I think the HPT and SHELF are balancing each other out ;)

More some other time...

Great weekend, bad Monday

This weekend was GREAT! We had a wonderful Saturday, lunch with my dad, got our headlight fixed on the car...went shopping but didn't buy anything...so fun :) Then Sunday we got together with Laurie and Heather from the BBC boards (Laurie and I acutally "went out" online for a while 8 years ago...) in Atlantic City. We went to Hooters (yeah, I know, stop sniggering...) and the food was, actually, really good! It was great to meet them and we'll be getting together again in October. Will be SO fun to hang out when we both have our babies :)

So today. We're exhausted...got home, and Zoe had made a mess in her crate. I tried to take a nap, but Megan couldn't find parking on the way home, so I had to wake up, go out and meet her...and we went to KFC. Got home, and we discovered that KFC got the order wrong...so we drove BACK to KFC. Then when we got home again, we found that the laundry detergent had fallen down and spilled ALL over the floor. Like 2 gallons. And we had to clean it up. So yeah, that's today. And now I have a headache :P Ah well, you win some you lose some, right?

So we're now 4 dpo and doing a good job staying distracted :) Yay! And now time to sleep. Double yay!!!

1 dpi! Yikes!

So, we decided to go private because my father's ex GF's daughter had access to the blog, and we're not telling family until we're PG this time. Soo, thanks to all of you who e-mailed! I really thought Stacey was the only one who read, but turns out there's more of you! So cool!

Anyway, yesterday was our +OPK and we feel that Megan O's really soon after a positive test, like the same day, so we think our timing was good, so now all there is to do is wait. Which is totally fine :D NO bloodwork, NO needles, NO clo-madness. Nothing. It's great :) The insem went off without a hitch last night and we're really pleased so far, so yeah. Probably not to many symptom updates this time around, as we're trying to be laid back ;) Yeah, trying to be laid back. I said it.

Megan's gone at work late tonight...so here I am bored and missing her like crazy. We're so lucky that we met in college and we spent so so much time together, and even in med school with her working from home for a long time, we saw so much of each other. Totally spoiled. But I'm glad that even after nearly 6 years, we still love spending time together so much and miss each other when we're not together :) I love her so much. I know she rarely reads this, but I love you Megan!!

School update for the day...we have a really low census at the moment, only like 6 paitents on the whole service, which is nice. Two of them are mine, which is great, because I carry up to 4 at a time and two is like a cakewalk compared to 4. Anyway, they're both really complicated. One of them has end-stage liver disease, uses cocaine and heroin, is a victim of severe domestic abuse (she's had her face reconstructed twice), and has schizophrenia and depression...she has ascites, and her legs are very swollen from the water retention and high blood pressure building up behind her cirrhotic liver. And she has recurrent pneumonia. The other patient has fevers and mental status changes but we can't find a source of the infection...we think it might be this weird disease called babesiosis. Anyway, I was on the way up the stairs with my intern and I was asking her for feedback since we're 1/2 way through the month, and she said that she couldn't think of a single thing to tell me to improve, that I was at 4th year level or higher, and that I made her life as an intern much easier and she really appreciated my help. Gaaaa!!! You know, I never got honors in my preclinical classes, just passes, so I always hoped I'd do better in the clinical years. And it looks like it might be true. I'm just SO excited that I'm doing well...it's really hard, because nobody really tells you what to do and it feels so great to be making a difference with the patients. Like my cocaine addict lady, she doesn't trust people and is really cranky at most people, but she hasn't snapped at me in a week and she calls me "honey" now (which would normally bug me, but from her, I take it as a compliment)...I'm so happy that she asks me questions and talks to me so we know what she needs! Helping people makes me so happy and I'm glad someone thinks I'm doing a good job :D I'm totally on cloud nine.

So, that's really it for now, I have a shelf exam in 2 weeks that's going to whoop my ass if I don't start studying like a crazy woman. Nighty night.

Going privada

I'm taking the private plunge with the blog...drop me an e-mail if you want to read!

Golden Weekend

Ahhhhhh. Golden weekend. Two whole days in a row of NO work, NO studying, NO nothing. This is the best thing ever. I came into this weekend so exhausted that I could barely stand up, and I'm proud to say after two good nights of sleep I'm starting to feel like a human being again. This is so the best thing ever :)

Yesterday was a really fun day...we got up and did some window shopping, had lunch together, came home, bathed the dogs outside in the backyard (they were less than amused, but it was great to not have all that mess in the house), and then worked on the house for pretty much the remainder of the day. Not that the place is filthy, just with how busy we've been there are things strewn all over where they don't belong, dishes that needed to be put away, laundry and the like. And, as anyone with dogs knows, the vacuuming REALLY needed to be done. We finished most of it yesterday and were able to get to bed at a pretty decent time. Oh yes, totally boring, but I loved every minute of it!

Today we elected to skip church to finish the house cleaning and spend some time with the dogs. They've been a little neglected lately, so we've been playing with them and working on their grooming. I'll post photos when I get a chance, but they all look HORRIBLE! if any of their breeders could see them they'd be horrified! The dog dryer and show groom supplies are still in boxes, so they just got bathed and towel-dried, so Bella is all ringlets, Zoe looks like she has tailfeathers, and Fudge looks like he's been electrocuted :P Ah well, at least they're happy and smell good :)

So today the plan is to do some window shopping, run a few errands, then have early dinner with my dad down in Glen Mills, which will be really fun. We don't see him as much as we'd like to, so these dinners are just that much more enjoyable. Plus, it helps me not think about going back to work tomorrow :( That's the one bad thing about Golden Weekends...they end.

On the docket for next weeek: finishing the dog grooming, painting the kitchen (well, finishing that), and STUDYING for my shelf exam, which is coming up way faster than I want to think about it. I suppose I should also be thinking about packing for York...like what I'm going to need to have to stay, clothes, if I need casual clothes...that kind of thing. I'm really not looking forward to leaving for that long, but what can ya do, you know?

Finally, in terms of TTC, we've been talking a lot about that and adoption lately and I think we're pretty close to reaching some decisions about when and how we're going to proceed. Megan wants us to keep those thoughts private for now, but as soon as she's comforatble with me sharing, I will :)

Ok, enough of a novel. Time to go eat :D

Part deux

So I promised more updates, so here they are!

First, Zoe is growing like a little weed. She's almost as big as Bella now and now spending nights out of the crate. I'll add a pic here for those who aren't on Facebook. She's such a little ray of sunshine and keeps us on our toes. Not much else to report there other than we're grateful that she has straight hair...makes grooming a breeeeze.

Now the apartment. I dont' really have photos to post at the moment but I might after this weekend. We love our yard, and we like the place, but it has some really irritating quirks I don't really want to get into too much right now. But this weekend we'll finish painting and cleaning (we hope) so we'll be able to post some pics then of the different rooms. We're making some headway on clearing out what will be our baby's room, but is now a catchall storage closet from Hell. But photos soon to follow!

I also promised a Disney update. So we went on vacation in June after my boards with my mom, Megan's mom, Rob (my brother) and Heather (his now fiancee) for a week, and my mom ended up buying into the Disney Vacation Club as well, so now we're going to go at Christmas this year (just us and the moms) and then we'll be doing a cruise/beach/WDW combo vacation after I graduate! I hope one day we get to use the points for something other than Disney parks...but for now, I'll just be grateful that I get to go on so many vacations!

Now for friends...not too much to say there other than I never see them anymore :( Third year is keeping us all split up so I never see anyone, which just totally sucks. I miss them, but at least I get along well with my medical team people so I'm not too lonely. And of course I have Megan, but I'm such a people-person I really crave the interaction.

Sooo...what else to talk about? I might have to do a part three because I can't remember what I was supposed to write about....lol. I'm really tired, so bedtime now for me :)

I really suck at updating this thing now

4 weeks left of internal medcine. My team switches this week, which really sucks. I've had the same intern for the last 8 weeks (at Jeff and Methodist) and he was my buddy, but now I have to get used to this new girl who isn't as nice or as helpful. My resident is switching as well, but at least I know my new one...she was the resident in the ICU at Methodist this month and did the MRAN's for my team, so I already know she's super smart, a good teacher, and a likeable person.

The pateints are really different there. It's our inside joke that the most common test we have to order is a UDS (urine drug screen). South Philadelphia is an interesting place. Historically, it's the Italian neighborhood, so there are a lot of elderly Italian people and their kids and grandkids living there. In the 80's, African American families started to move in there, and in the late 90's to 2000's, Hispanic and Asian families, so there is a very odd combination of people, religions, and values. It's also a relatively poor neighborhood with a large homeless and/or drug addicted population, so we see a lot of people who don't get regular healthcare, are addicted to drugs, and live in shelters. So on that backdrop, we have patients who are mostly hypertensive, have end-organ failure, have diabetes, are HIV+...etc etc. It's a real challenge to treat many of them beacuse they don't know their medical history, don't speak English, or any one of a variety of barriers. But I'm learning a LOT.

One thing: HIV patients are HARD to take care of, and they break my heart. My one patient I have now contracted the disease 17 years ago when she got pregnant with her youngest daughter. She is also on dialysis because she took too much of a prescription medicine for her system (not really an OD, just the wrong dose) and her kidneys failed. She doesnt' qualify for a transplant because of her HIV. Her cell count is really low, so she has to take 4 antiretroviral drugs, prophylactic medications to protect against infections...she's neutropenic, so we have to wear masks when we go in her room and she can't eat fruit or vegetables because she might get an infection. It's hard to know what we can treat her with because of the dialysis...a lot of medicines she can't have. She's also sensitive to a lot of medicines...so it makes it REALLY hard to control her pain (can't have this because of dialysis, can't have that because of allergies, can't have the other thing because it's not strong enough...then what?) This poor woman is ony 40, she never used IV drugs, never did anything wrong and she's dying. So dramatically NOT fair.

So 4 more weeks left for me of Internal Medicine, and I think that I'll keep it on my list of potential specialties. I would really enjoy Hematology/Oncology I believe, or maybe Pulm/Critical Care, but not general practice. It's a little broad of a field for me and I think I would like to have a more narrow focus. Plus, I can't stand nephrology. Kidneys are HARD!

In terms of other life stuff, we're slowly starting to get the wheels turning on starting our family again. There was just an EXPLOSION of pregnancies on the message board we post on (hi , guys ;) and Megan is really feeling the itch to get started again. We're a little antsy about the homestudy issue in our current place/situation...this battle we've been having with our landlord over the apartment (they got mad at us and decided to accuse us of having an "uninhabitable" house, filthy, with dog feces all over...complete bullshit) and we're scared that will get in the way of passing a homestudy. Shit shit shit. So we'll see about that. Part of us isn't ready to give up TTC anyway...I mean, she's 24 fucking years old, you know? argh.

Okay, it's time to go...I'll update part 2 later :D To come: the puppy, more about school, friends, the apartment...Disney of course...